20

I turned 20 years old this week. A couple years ago, I thought that after high school, I would go to college. Get my Associate’s or Bachelor’s degree. And then get a job as a writer or journalist. Here’s the thing, I’ve started taking some college classes. Two worked out pretty well – got A’s. I also tried to take an online class which didn’t work out as well and I ended up dropping. The amount of writing required for that online course would have taken me countless hours to keep up with. What would have taken many students a couple hours a day, probably would have meant 40-50 hours a week for me – for just one class.

I am now grappling with a dilemma. Do I go to college? Or do I look at other online courses like through Coursera or EdX to keep learning even though it wouldn’t be working towards a college degree? Or do I find a job or volunteer work to start getting work experience? This past 2 years, I’ve had fantastic opportunities as a public speaker. Would people want me as a public speaker, if I’m not also a college student? Was that part of my story that people were interested in?

My family and I are struggling with what are the options for me with what I love to do and what I’m able to do – because honestly it’s difficult for me to communicate quickly and often times people don’t take the time to wait for me to say what I want to say – so where are those opportunities to work or participate in my community like I’d like to when it’s this difficult to communicate? What does a job for me look like where I can interact with others to do the things I love to do? How do I work towards independence if I’m hanging out at home every day? Because, that’s what I’ve been doing lately, and it’s not working.

I really love public speaking about inclusion and accessibility. I love advocating for disability rights. I love writing even though it takes me a long time. I love to share my voice with the world. I love my volunteer work as a mentor to an elementary student who has cerebral palsy and is learning to use a communication device and power chair.

We know some of the next steps. I need to get connected with Vocation Rehab Services to find out what they can offer. I need to reach out to different advocacy organizations to see if there might be volunteer work or internships that might work for me. I need to meet with my social worker to make sure the supports I need are in place so that I can keep working towards my goals.

So, I’m 20 years old. I feel confused, floundering, like I’m trying to get to the top of a long flight of stairs in my wheelchair – not sure what’s at the top of the stairs or how to get there.