My Yellow Wallpaper

The Yellow Wallpaper, by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, is a short story about a 19th century woman who probably has depression due to having a baby. She is forbidden from socializing, writing, pretty much doing anything by her “psychiatrist” husband who prescribed a “rest” cure. Mental health treatment in the 19th century sucked! So she is forced to stare at the yellow wallpaper and finds herself becoming even more despondent. The yellow wallpaper becomes her symbol of the woman and the many women at that time being trapped in society’s expectations.

This story and John Green’s Crash Course episode about The Yellow Wallpaper, got me thinking about what my yellow wallpaper was. For me, it was Transition Plus. After high school graduation, many students with disabilities go to transition programs until they’re 21 and I’m sure many students and parents find them to be a valuable option to continue working on educational goals.

I was 18 years old and found myself going every day to a single room located in a building in a business park a couple miles outside of town. That was where our Transition Plus program was located. At the time, it seemed like a good way to get ready for college. But, I found the classes were remedial, didn’t seem very interesting to me, and I was bored.  I sometimes felt like I was looking on the outside of myself in there. I despised that feeling where I was so despondent and felt trapped even though my para and teachers were trying to make it work for me. Part of the reason was because I was in this segregated building and I wanted to be included with the outside world. This isn’t what I thought I’d be doing. My friends were going off to college and I was in a place I didn’t want to be.

I’m not taking anything away from people who find these programs helpful in transitioning to life after high school. And, the staff were great and trying to do everything they could to help me like Transition Plus. But the first time I wheeled into that building, I felt anxious and depressed. I wanted to get the heck out of there and never look back. I couldn’t get past feeling trapped in a place and life that I didn’t want to be in. I did get everything in place to start taking classes at Century College that spring, but still had to go to that single room in that building outside of town until I said “no more.” I quit Transition Plus that spring and never looked back.

My yellow wallpaper is exclusion. What is your yellow wallpaper?

My ideas for improving my Transition experience

Why not have transition programs that are located in our public college and universities? I just needed a para to help me during my college classes while at the college. That would have been my least-restrictive environment to continue working on my individual education program (IEP) goals.

Next up

MAGGIE ROGERS at the Armory! Can’t wait to hear this favorite in person!

Light on video

Would you hear me out

If I told you I was terrified for days

Thought I was gonna break…

Oh I am finding out

There’s just no other way

And I’m still dancing

At the end of the day

If you leave the light on

Then I’ll leave the light on