Tearing at the seams

Perfect paradise, tearing at the seams.

– Imagine Dragons

One of my favorite bands, Imagine Dragons, has this line in Bad Liar. When the song came out, I was in a place of pain and this helped me forget. This was actually last fall and the pain has been at a steady 6 with jumps to 9 out of 10 for so long. Just to recap –have seen multiple specialists over the past 5 months figuring out what to do.

My surgery is now two weeks away on April 26th. I’ll have two months of pins in both of my big toes and recovery with lots of lying around in bed, watching Netflix, Amazon Prime and On Demand. For the next couple weeks, I’ll be putting together my playlist for the hospital – the music that makes me feel strong!

I am going to have my mom post as soon as she can after my surgery to let everyone know how I’m doing. Justin smiling with concert crowd behind

So look me in the eyes
Tell me what you see
Perfect paradise
Tearing at the seams
I wish I could escape it
I don’t want to fake it
I wish I could erase it
Make your heart believe

-Bad Liar by Imagine Dragons

 Bad Liar on YouTube How awesome that it’s captioned!

Previous posts about toe-mageddon

To Err is Human

I watched a documentary, To Err is Human, with my mom and dad last weekend. Like Cal Sheridan, who is featured in the film, I also have kernicterus because of a medical error. Did you know that medical errors are the 3rd largest leading cause of death in our country? There are as many as 440,000 preventable deaths every year. Far more than that are living with the long-term impacts or injuries from medical errors. For me, it means severe cerebral palsy, auditory neuropathy, visual tracking difficultiesBlack and white photo of dad holding baby Justin, and some messed up toes. Had my newborn jaundice been tested and treated in time, I may have had a very different life. But, it wasn’t – and I don’t have that different life.

Watch this documentary and find out more about what we can do to improve the medical system so that it’s safer for all of us. We NEED to do this!

Surgery

Speaking of medical stuff, my toes surgery is on April 29th  with a night or two in the hospital. My mom is going to write a guest post after to let everyone know how I’m doing. I’ll have surgery on both big toes with a couple months’ recovery. Hoping for relief from the toe-pocalypse although I also know that surgery and recovery will mean it’s going to get worse before it gets better. Foot xray showing bent big toe

Interrupters

Until then on to crazy fun April starting with Interrupters concert tomorrow night!!! Favorite songs: She’s Kerosene and Got Each Other (featuring Rancid)

We don’t have much but we’ve got each other!